I need help with my life?

My whole life has been depressing and never ending suffering. I am now 19 years old. Heres my life...Parents always drunk and fighting when I was a kid before and during school k-12. I was always the one left out and made fun of in school. I was sent to a school in 9th grade for bad behavior cuz i was skipping cl and was beat up almost every day by other kids for half a year and i fought back twice but got in trouble and the cops said if i did i fought one more time i would go to juvenile hall so i just took the pain everyday for half a year. I than went back to regular high school and I finally met a girl who made me happy for the first time in my life and was with her for a year....come to find out she had cheated on me almost the hole time and never loved me and than she left me for another guy....i was heart broken...that was when I was 17....4 months later I loose my best friend who I had for 8 years because of a car accident he got hurt in the car accident very bad and i didnt so he never talked to me again even though it was just an accident cuz i fell asleep at the wheel no drugs or alchol involved...a week later my dog died and I held him when he did...I had had him since I was 5 that was hearbreaking. Than I turn 18 in september and in december my mom died of a drug overdose 4 months after my dog died....she had been doing pills for 4 years and was a zombie and alcholic everyday i couldnt even talk to her...my dad didnt do pills but was an alcholic too....it was heartbreaking....than in april of this year I meet a beautiful girl who was the sweetest ever to me and i thought she was perfect and possibly the one....we talked about getting married and she even talked to me about what to name our kids and told me she loved me everyday and wanted to marry me and called me all the time....than I find out 6 months later...today...that she had been ******* another guy...she told me she loved him and that she never loved me and that she might be pregnant with his kid....she didnt even care how hurt i was....this happened TODAY....i was lied to the whole time.....now here i am more depressed than ever and shes ******* another guy happy as ever....this is the secnd time this has happened to me with my second true girlfriend.....this life i cant take anymore, i just give up, and i dont care anymore, from being torn down all my life i just have no emotions left inside of me. I have come so close to death a few times in car accidents and motorcycle accidents and walked away fine but it didnt even phase me i wasnt even scared that i could have been killed because in my mind i didnt care...i had a car come into my lane driving down to the beach and almost hit me and i didnt even blink. I didnt care. I am nice to everyone and truely care so much about people but no one cares about me. ive been told im a good looking guy and gone out with hott girls so i dont think its my looks.....bad things just happen to me...its like everything beautiful in my life dies...i cant take it anymore..i just want to give up and fade away...i have gotten an anger problem in the last 2 years from being beat down all the time which i keep to myself but sometimes i will flip out and beat walls and cry and break down and sometimes i do crazy things like go 170mph on my sportbike and do things normal people wouldnt dare to do and i dont even care if i would die like i have no fear. I smoke cigs about a pack a day and weed but rarely and drink rarely. Im clean besides that. I just have no happieness or hope left in me. when im alone Im dark, cold, and distant. Just a face made of stone. But when im around people i try to act normal and happy but im really not. I feel dead. i dont know what to do. i try and try soo hard and give everything they could ask for as far as kindness and attention and always am left behind....being hurt so much has changed me from being nice to people and makes me want to become an who cares about nothing or no one. I feel this way sometimes and im afraid i may just turn out to be that person. a dark cold mean psychopath. I may end up in jail or dead...the pain has changed me from being a good guy to a bad guy because everyone i mean everyone hurts me or does me wrong. even cops. I feel like i have become a danger to society and hurt someone or myself. I dont want to be this way but the more i try to be good the more i get put down and become badder....i need help.